Dave's Fiction Warehouse

It's a Christmas miracle W ho among us has not wished to receive disability checks without the inconvenience of being actually disabled? It’s the American dream. An Irish one too. Kamila Grabska, 36, had been collecting disability checks since a 2017 traffic accident in County Clare. She said the injury left her unable to work, or sometimes even get out of bed. She sued an insurance company for back pay, the whole amount coming to around $800 grand.  Then surfaced this picture of Ms. Grabska winning the 2018 Irish Christmas Tree Throwing Championship. Oops.  I like the judge’s opinion as he tossed out the claim. You can practically hear an amiable Irish lilt in his words:   “It is a very large, natural Christmas tree and it is being thrown by her in a very agile movement. I’m afraid I cannot but conclude the claims were entirely exaggerated.” Sorry, Kamila, but at least you can keep the trophy. Not sure why it took so long for the photograph to surface. And I really ...

China's beautiful balloon W e were tracking that Chinese spy balloon here at the Warehouse. But now it’s been shot down off the Carolinas. Biden says U.S. fighters took care of it, but did they? We don’t trust the government. We trust MAGA and Marge Greene.   Yes, the balloon was at an altitude somewhat beyond the range of weapons used primarily for school massacres. But when you believe in Qanon and Jewish space lasers and rampant election fraud, as Marge does, it’s not that hard to believe that your gun can shoot 12 miles. Especially if you climb a really tall tree to do it. It’s just common sense! Last time Americans got this excited about a balloon was in 2009, when noted publicity whore Richard Heene told authorities his 6-year-old son was trapped in a primitive craft drifting across Colorado. Turned out that the kid, Falcon (of course), was in the attic instead. The Heenes were fined $36,000 and got some jail time out of it. They were pardoned in 2020, for reasons that ...

So little is certain in this crazy world. But one great truth remains as constant as the stars: When two rednecks say they have Bigfoot in a freezer , they don't. I mean, this is pretty basic. And yet for a week or so, even reputable news services were covering the claims of Ricky Dyer and Mathew Whitton as news. Some even ran the ludicrous picture supplied by the pair, showing what appeared to be a Planet of the Apes mask, a couple of doormats and a platter of link sausages jammed into a freezer. Not sure what the garden hose was for. But that's Sasquatch alright. I'd recognize him anywhere. Now it falls to a web site devoted to Bigfoot-related dumb-assery to set the record straight. "I observed the foot which looked unnatural, reached in and confirmed it was a rubber foot," wrote Steve Kulls of the Sasquatchdetective site. Science triumphs again. You'd think this sort of thing might somehow embarrass Mr. Kulls, but I guess if you run around calling yoursel...