The baron of bullshit

Trump: The Pope's a dope.

Donald Trump is always complaining about too much political correctness, but he remains silent about a much larger American problem, which is too much bullshit. You can see why. Trump’s political mansion — to which he adds new wings every week — is built on a foundation of total bullshit. So is his brash, tell-it-like-it-isn’t political persona. All bullshit. And bullshit, as any competent engineer will tell […]

Rachel’s real estate

Here we have shrewd business plan: Rachel buys houses, then apparently sells them for about half what they’re worth. The two signs were a block apart here in Springfield, but the handwriting is eerily similar. It reminds me of the way certain Realtors used to put it in the flyers they’d stuff in your mailbox: “There’s never been a better time to buy OR sell!” In short, […]

A classic and a clunker

Seinfeld cast in Monk's Cafe

Hulu finally got all the “Seinfeld” episodes. For the past week I’ve been watching a couple at a time, grazing through the seasons in hopes of finding one I may have missed. I’m starting to think I didn’t miss any — except for the notorious finale, which I still haven’t seen, lo, these 17 years later. That’s OK. I don’t mind Seinfeld reruns. Some of these episodes […]

Neo-noir in L.A.

jake gyllenhaal nightcrawler

Netflix is now streaming “Nightcrawler” for free — a fact I discovered after paying four bucks for it on Amazon Prime. If you like a smart noirish crime thriller, it’s definitely worth a look. Jake Gyllenhaal plays Lou Bloom, a weird loner who gets by selling stolen scrap metal in outer L.A. One night he happens by a fiery accident, where a free-lance “crime journalist” on the […]

Fun with fire ants

fire ants

Another reason to hate Florida: Fire ants! Just when I thought I could put up with the heat and humidity and Gov. Rick Scott, one million of these little bastards decided it was time to teach me a valuable lesson. Lesson one: Don’t live in Florida. Lesson two: if you do live in Florida, don’t walk your dog at night past a vacant lot filled with interesting […]

My place in the cloud

A stroll for the ages.

Now I am immortal. For the next year or so, anyway. In March of this year I was on my daily walk when I noticed the Google Street View car rolling by right in front of me. A quicker man might have flipped two birds or reversed course and dropped his pants for a moon shot. But I’m more mature these days and anyway my reflexes aren’t […]

Ain’t a thing we can do

Geek's got a gun.

He looks like they all do: geeky and vacant and profoundly weird. After all these mass shootings, you look at the pictures of the suspect and think, “how in the hell did that asshole get a gun?” But then this is America and acquiring a semiautomatic weapon is the least of a young psycho’s problems. In this case, apparently, it was a birthday gift from his father, […]