The sound of the snarkmeisters
We were talking about the insane Twitter flame-fest that erupted during and after NBC’s live version of The Sound of Music. What the hell was up with that? I was shocked and saddened. What do people expect of live television? Something really classy like the f*%$#ing Grammy Awards? Look, the original Sound of Music was corny even when it was new, and this stage version didn’t add […]
The real art is feigning sophistication
What is art? That was the theme of Sunday’s New York Times crossword, which I finished in (for me) average time. It was titled “You’ll Know It When You See It.” I kept wondering if the creator had been inspired by Tilda Swinton. Swinton, you’ve probably heard, has since Saturday been periodically napping in a glass box at New York’s Museum of Modern Art. Of all the […]
A minor case of iPad fatigue
I sat out the iPad. Took a pass on the iPad 2. Can’t really see getting The New iPad either. I guess what I’m really waiting for the Last Best iPad, the one so perfectly grand that I won’t have to stand in line with the rest of the saps to replace it a year later. I don’t know why this kind of thing annoys me. It […]
Photoshop woman, stay away from me
My position on the use of Photoshop to enhance glamor photos is well known: It’s wrong. It should never be used, unless I’m the subject and I’ve been asked by Men’s Health magazine to explain my six secrets for rock-hard abs (Secret 1: You will never have rock-hard abs). Poor Adele. I thought she looked pretty good at the Grammies. Yes, she’s a little more chunky than […]
Of crosshairs and survey symbols
Every time a gunman goes berserk and kills a bunch of people, the shock lasts about 12 minutes before devolving into a shoutfest of assholes and ignoramuses. At least that’s the drill here in America. Maybe it goes down differently in other countries; I don’t know. Probably. For starters, it seems likely that other countries might, per capita, have fewer MySpace loons spraying bullets into crowds with […]
It isn’t just Muslims who are mad
Gather ’round, children. The witching hour approaches. It’s time for Daddy to pour himself a whiskey, throw another Koran on the fire, and relate certain tales that will make your blood run cold. Don’t start crying. I’m kidding about the tales. And the whiskey. And the Koran. Incidentally, is it Koran or Quran? It’s become a matter of personal preference, I guess. Back in my newspaper days […]