Not cool, Michelangelo. Sculpting that schlong onto your statue of David? Not cool at all. Yeah, you got away with it for more than 520 years, probably chortling all the while. But now, boy, you’re in the Free State of Florida. In this bastion of liberty, parents adhere to a strict no-johnson policy when […]
Later, alligator
After 13 years, we’ve decided to quit Florida. I don’t expect to miss it much. I’ve realized I’m not a beach guy. I’m not a Jimmy Buffett guy. I hate theme parks and I hate I-95 and I’m not fond of the year-round bugs and humidity. I’ve never gotten used to the sodden air […]
Tallahassee tough guy
Ron DeSantis aspires to be Trump 2.0. To the extent that he’s another belligerent, overfed blowhard in an ill-fitting suit, he’s definitely got a shot. All he lacks now is widespread MAGA support: He’s still polling 30 points behind the former president among GOP voters. That’s because those voters, being stupid, have not yet […]
Still life with dicks
Some miscreants have been spray-painting penises on the streets of our neighborhood. The Facebook reactions have been interesting. Some decry vandalism and the harmful effects on children who may pedal by. Others see vibrant guerrilla art, part of the rich tapestry of life in a supremely chill neighborhood. I’m somewhere in the middle. Not […]
Not throwing away
my shot
Whenever I go to a Wal-Mart, I am reminded that whatever you save there in dollars you eventually surrender in dignity. But it happened to be the first place with available appointments for the Covid vaccine, so my vigilant wife arose early and booked it online. When I arrived at the appointed hour, a […]
Is that all there is?
I would like to personally thank President Trump for steering Hurricane Dorian well clear of Alabama (and parts of Florida) through the sheer force of his will. That was a close one. If the president had not been closely monitoring the situation between rounds at his golf club in Virginia, this thing could have […]
Dorian J. Trump
Dorian. Never met anyone named Dorian, unless you count “The Picture of Dorian Gray.” I finally got around to reading that a few years ago. Oscar Wilde. The book was sort of controversial in 1890. It’s about a guy who makes a deal with, if not the devil, then at least a Jeffrey Epstein-like […]