We were tracking that Chinese spy balloon here at the Warehouse. But now it’s been shot down off the Carolinas. Biden says U.S. fighters took care of it, but did they? We don’t trust the government. We trust MAGA and Marge Greene. Yes, the balloon was at an altitude somewhat beyond the range of […]
Dangerous toys
Back in the day we used to have these indoor dart-gun fights. A company called Placo made spring-loaded guns that shot rubber-tipped darts. The rule was, if you got hit by a dart, you were out of the game until the next round. If the guns were new and their springs weren’t worn out, […]
They’ll be back
The gang in Oregon really wanted a martyr and they finally got one. Now, of course, they’re variously claiming that LaVoy Finicum was ambushed and shot in the back and lying on the ground and also somehow had his hands up. Next tweet you see, they’ll say he was singing “Amazing Grace” and passing […]
Ain’t a thing we can do
He looks like they all do: geeky and vacant and profoundly weird. After all these mass shootings, you look at the pictures of the suspect and think, “how in the hell did that asshole get a gun?” But then this is America and acquiring a semiautomatic weapon is the least of a young psycho’s […]
Coulda been worse
Here’s one thing I learned this week: If you’re going to encounter a homicidal lunatic, it’s really a lot better if he has a kitchen knife instead of an assault rifle. I know: the NRA will certainly cast the Pennsylvania stabbing incident as another case where an intrepid teacher could have blown away the […]
Murder at the matinee
A dispute over texting quickly escalates to murder. It figures that this would happen in Florida, where personal restraint has never been considered a virtue. And it figures that the immediate result would be a virulent internet flame war about guns and cell phones. Two sacred objects. Both seem to bring out the worst […]
People kill people. With guns.
I suppose it’s true what the gun nuts say: banning semiautomatic weapons with high-capacity magazines would not have prevented this latest gun massacre. It would only have infringed on the survivalist fantasies of law-abiding citizens. That’s just another thing to mourn about this: We can’t stop it. We can’t even slow it down. Not […]