Cynthia from HR brought around the Christmas card. By the time it reached Henderson’s desk, it was already bulging with bills. Henderson sighed and reached for his wallet. He wasn’t crazy about diminishing his meager supply of cash, but it was Christmas time and he supposed he should do his part to help the less fortunate. Probably a coworker had suffered some medical emergency, some unforeseen household […]
Will Roy Moore
ruin Christmas?
This is what it’s come to: Watching the results of an Alabama senatorial election likes it’s the freaking AFC playoffs. Does scrappy underdog Doug Jones come from behind to knock off crappy horndog Roy Moore? It’s anybody’s game! Who’s ready for some football? My prediction just before the polls close: Roy Moore will win it handily. Not even close. Two touchdowns and a field goal. Why? Because […]
Holiday Bill is back
By the way, if you haven’t seen “A Very Murray Christmas” yet on Netflix, we here at the Warehouse have given it four stars and demand that it be required holiday viewing for aging misanthropes everywhere. There’s something about Bill Murray’s face: Etched with disbelief at the way things have turned out, but with some ghost of hope behind those faded eyes. That’s why he was perfect […]
So much for Christmas
Here’s a sad sight on New Year’s Day: a fully trimmed Christmas tree taken out with the trash. I know some people get sick to death of holiday details, but wouldn’t you want to save some of those ornaments? No doubt there’s a story here that I really don’t want to know. As I’ve mentioned before: We live in an odd neighborhood.
Mom: The woman who has everything
I'm really trying to think of something to get Mom for Christmas. This has become an annual problem. She’s in her 80s, and after all those Christmases and birthdays there’s nothing she wants, and certainly nothing she needs. Lately my brothers and I have resorted to sending edible treats of one sort or another — ham or fruit or chocolate or cheese. But there’s only so much […]
A test of ye olde holiday spirit
It’s a question I’ve long pondered: Why America, with all its tech prowess and industrial might, can’t produce a string of Christmas lights that will last more than one season. Yesterday I decided to deploy my annual Christmas display, a subdued arrangement consisting of lighted garlands on the porch and fake greenery around the entrance and a door wreath that is admittedly getting a little threadbare. I […]
If I had a million dollars
A friend here in Jacksonville has a charming Christmas tradition: Each year, he writes his brother a check for one million dollars. Coincidentally, the brother has the same tradition. In this way, they exchange extravagant gifts without any of the stress or guilt most of us now associate with this time of year. Really, it makes more sense than exchanging gift cards. It makes more sense than […]