‘Well, that was some weird shit.”
President George W. Bush’s reaction to Trump’s 2017 inauguration speech was apt then and describes pretty well everything Trump has done since.
Weird shit indeed! It never ends, does it? Last night (July 3) at Mount Rushmore, Trump was reveling in dystopian fantasies of culture war and forced-perspective photographs suggesting his own smirking visage would look pretty good chiseled alongside the other four.
Now there is the stuff of nightmares: if Washington had been Trump, we’d have abandoned the Revolution after the first month. If Jefferson had been Trump, the Declaration of Independence would be eight incoherent tweets with more exclamation points than actual words. If Roosevelt had been Trump, we’d have no national parks. If Lincoln had been Trump, we’d be … well, Confederates at the very least. Somehow I imagine the Trumpster being all-in on the slavery thing. (LIBERATE OUR GREAT PLANTATION OWNERS!!!!)
Yeah, I know: All of the Rushmore quartet were deeply flawed. But “deeply flawed” doesn’t begin to describe this miniature Mussolini with the odd hair. Trump is the sum of all flaws. Nowhere is this more apparent than at his dopey rallies, where the clueless keep jamming themselves together to hear him slur slogans and mispronounce common words.
Which he will do again tonight, for sure. Same material, even more fireworks. Face-coverings strongly discouraged.
Forget the pandemic already; he has. Covid’s no longer a thing; hadn’t you heard? There’s a new invisible enemy in town, folks: Antifa.
Sure, Trump shit the bed on the coronavirus response, but rest assured he has your back on Antifa. He’s not real clear what Antifa is, exactly, but seriously: he’s got this.
Without four more years of Trump, Antifa will mess you up. Antifa will key your car and set your Starbucks alight. Antifa will kick you out of Costco for not wearing a mask. Antifa will haunt your dreams like Freddy Krueger, hungry to topple any statue or garden gnome you care to erect.
That’s Trump’s stirring message for Independence Day: Fear and loathing. Never mind the real threat that’s actually killing Americans; rage instead at this straw man, as seen on Facebook™ and Fox News, who in a certain orangish light looks very frightening indeed. In many ways, even scarier than an immigrant caravan.
Anyway, Happy Independence Day to my few faithful readers. May it be the last one where Trump’s malignant weirdness holds sway. I think it might be my last Trump-related rant for awhile.