Will Roy Moore
ruin Christmas?

This is what it’s come to: Watching the results of an Alabama senatorial election likes it’s the freaking AFC playoffs. Does scrappy underdog Doug Jones come from behind to knock off crappy horndog Roy Moore? It’s anybody’s game! Who’s ready for some football?

My prediction just before the polls close: Roy Moore will win it handily. Not even close. Two touchdowns and a field goal. Why? Because (a) I have a history of backing lost causes, and (b) we now live in the time of Donald Trump, from whom guys like Roy Moore derive their mojo. Oh, and (c): it’s Alabama.

Any other place, dating 14-year-old girls as a grown man might be a deal-breaker. Not so in the state of George Wallace, country of Trumpistan. Thanks, Don! That’s another one we owe you.

OK, enough with the negative energy. What I’m doing here is an old trick of mine: Predicting an outcome so the opposite will occur. If I say Moore will win, my personal history would indicate that he will therefore lose. It’s not science, but it’s the Christmas season. And just now I choose to believe in miracles.