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Will Roy Moore
ruin Christmas?

December 11, 2017 by Dave Knadler

roy moore and his little gun

All I want for Christmas is not this guy.

This is what it’s come to: Watching the results of an Alabama senatorial election likes it’s the freaking AFC playoffs. Does scrappy underdog Doug Jones come from behind to knock off crappy horndog Roy Moore? It’s anybody’s game! Who’s ready for some football?

My prediction just before the polls close: Roy Moore will win it handily. Not even close. Two touchdowns and a field goal. Why? Because (a) I have a history of backing lost causes, and (b) we now live in the time of Donald Trump, from whom guys like Roy Moore derive their mojo. Oh, and (c): it’s Alabama.

Any other place, dating 14-year-old girls as a grown man might be a deal-breaker. Not so in the state of George Wallace, country of Trumpistan. Thanks, Don! That’s another one we owe you.

OK, enough with the negative energy. What I’m doing here is an old trick of mine: Predicting an outcome so the opposite will occur. If I say Moore will win, my personal history would indicate that he will therefore lose. It’s not science, but it’s the Christmas season. And just now I choose to believe in miracles.

More along these lines:

  • There will be blood
  • Words to live byWords to live by
  • baby june at christmas in jacksonvilleIt just ain’t Christmas without the kids
  • santorum against public educationGet our cash out of the classroom
  • newt gingrichWhen billionaires collide

Filed Under: christmas, politics, thatfuckingtrump

About Dave Knadler

Obscure writer. Lazy photographer. Bashful guitarist. Perhaps too fond of wine. Tireless nemesis of New York Times crosswords.

Comments

  1. Trish Christofferson says

    December 13, 2017 at 7:36 am

    Way to go Dave! You did it! We all owe you a debt of gratitude for predicting that Roy Moore would win. Hence his loss. Thank you, thank you thank you!

    • Dave Knadler says

      December 13, 2017 at 12:41 pm

      Ha! I’m prepared to take full credit for it, too. I do have a spring in my step this morning.

  2. John H. says

    December 13, 2017 at 5:32 pm

    Reverse jinx for the win!

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