Kid’s got a future

Finally, someone more hate-worthy than ISIS and Donald Trump: Ethan Couch, 18, who killed four people and was spared jail time because his parents are rich. He’s where we got the dreadful term “affluenza”: that tragic condition of being so awash in wealth and privilege that one cannot be held accountable for one’s personal shortcomings, including manslaughter and assault.

Ethan got probation, not prison — on condition that he not drink. Then he appeared on a video, obviously drinking. He and his mom read the tea leaves and quietly decamped to Puerto Vallarta. That’s where rich people go when they’re on the lam: someplace not in the U.S., but with valet parking and adequate room service.

Today this is a top story on all the big news sites. You can see why: finally, somebody who’s a bigger asshole than Trump! People really want this kid to get what’s coming to him, since Trump never seems to.

But that’s probably not going to happen, is it? As we see time and again in this great country of ours, being universally loathed is almost the same thing as being universally loved. Either way, young Ethan gets the fame. That translates, eventually, to book deals and network interviews and fawning letters from unhinged young girls. You’ll remember the Menendez brothers. Unless you’re Chipotle, there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

This is a fitting story with which to close out the old year. Mostly because it’s not about Donald Trump. It’s just about somebody who could be his kid brother.