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Kid’s got a future

December 29, 2015 by Dave Knadler

Maybe he could be Trump's running mate.

All that and good-looking too.

Finally, someone more hate-worthy than ISIS and Donald Trump: Ethan Couch, 18, who killed four people and was spared jail time because his parents are rich. He’s where we got the dreadful term “affluenza”: that tragic condition of being so awash in wealth and privilege that one cannot be held accountable for one’s personal shortcomings, including manslaughter and assault.

Ethan got probation, not prison — on condition that he not drink. Then he appeared on a video, obviously drinking. He and his mom read the tea leaves and quietly decamped to Puerto Vallarta. That’s where rich people go when they’re on the lam: someplace not in the U.S., but with valet parking and adequate room service.

Today this is a top story on all the big news sites. You can see why: finally, somebody who’s a bigger asshole than Trump! People really want this kid to get what’s coming to him, since Trump never seems to.

But that’s probably not going to happen, is it? As we see time and again in this great country of ours, being universally loathed is almost the same thing as being universally loved. Either way, young Ethan gets the fame. That translates, eventually, to book deals and network interviews and fawning letters from unhinged young girls. You’ll remember the Menendez brothers. Unless you’re Chipotle, there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

This is a fitting story with which to close out the old year. Mostly because it’s not about Donald Trump. It’s just about somebody who could be his kid brother.

More along these lines:

  • stolen shopping cartsIt’s time to give back all those stolen carts
  • nebraska TV watchingI’ll take ‘Nebraska’
  • Rachel’s real estateRachel’s real estate
  • Papers, please
  • stoger arms .22 lrI got rid of that gun too soon

Filed Under: american life, crime

About Dave Knadler

Obscure writer. Lazy photographer. Bashful guitarist. Perhaps too fond of wine. Tireless nemesis of New York Times crosswords, Wordle, Semantle and all other puzzles du jour.

Comments

  1. John H. says

    January 5, 2016 at 11:29 am

    I’m afraid that your predictions for his future are likely to come true. I guess we can be glad that at least he’s not claiming that it’s his Constitutional right to act like this?

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