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Sidewalk swine

July 23, 2014 by Dave Knadler

springfield parking hogs

Hope you’re good at hurdles.

In my neighborhood, people don’t just park on the street. They park on the grass between the sidewalk and street (called the CROW, for City Right of Way). They park on their lawns. They park in the alleys. And they all too frequently park on the sidewalk itself.

That last part pisses me off. I guess it pisses a lot of people off here in Springfield: Somebody posted about it on the Springfield Facebook group and it quickly got 80-some comments. So far I haven’t seen any Nazi analogies, but with this group it’s only a matter of time.

If I were going to be a Nazi about anything around here, it would be people parking on the sidewalk. That and people wandering down the street shouting obscenities, or scattering fast-food wrappers like they’re all competing to be this year’s Johnny Appleseed of Litter.

But certain people, you don’t expect much of them. Certain people you do: say, people who are able to drive decent cars and live in decent houses. People who have plenty of space at the curb, and frequently plenty of space within a fenced driveway. Somehow, they still opt to park straddling the sidewalk. More convenient that way, I guess — for them. Never mind the moms with strollers, the halt and the lame, the active-but-easily-annoyed middle-aged men who are forced to squeeze past a bumper or detour into the street.

It’s a quality-of-life thing, OK? Sidewalks are for people, not cars. Below are a few offenders seen on a recent two-mile stroll around the ‘hood.

More along these lines:

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  • wolf of wall street f-wordThe word that says it all
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Filed Under: american life, Springfield, Swine

About Dave Knadler

Obscure writer. Lazy photographer. Bashful guitarist. Perhaps too fond of wine. Tireless nemesis of New York Times crosswords, Wordle, Semantle and all other puzzles du jour.

Comments

  1. Kim says

    July 23, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Where are the tag numbers??? 🙂

  2. Michael Stockhill says

    July 23, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    There is a problem in Florida with a Saab standing its ground?

  3. Erin says

    July 24, 2014 at 2:02 am

    I used to live in a town with a population of 1500. They did things like this and more. Note the used to. Things are so civilized and orderly where I live now. Except for the circus clown in my building who emptied their dust buster full of cat fur, litter and dust onto the mulch by the rear entryway! Grrrr!

  4. Deb says

    July 24, 2014 at 6:40 am

    this would drive me nuts.

  5. John H. says

    July 24, 2014 at 10:26 pm

    So which picture is your car? It’s important to fit in with your neighbors.

  6. Bridgett says

    July 25, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    There is no reason for this..so, the “Law of Equal Inconsiderateness” gets to be applied… the following supplies required: a piece of sidewalk chalk so you can write “A**hole Parking Only”, or a small can of some honking colored spray paint- just a nice small splat of paint, applied to a corner of the bumper or fender.. And before everyone weighs in on this being vandalism, well, this kind of parking is pretty egregious, too. Just sayin.’

    • Dave Knadler says

      July 30, 2014 at 11:05 am

      My luck, someone would see me doing it and shoot me dead. Standing their ground.

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