Coulda been worse

Here’s one thing I learned this week: If you’re going to encounter a homicidal lunatic, it’s really a lot better if he has a kitchen knife instead of an assault rifle.

I know: the NRA will certainly cast the Pennsylvania stabbing incident as another case where an intrepid teacher could have blown away the miscreant if only the teacher had been allowed — or better yet, required — to carry a piece.

But the fact is, all 21 victims survived. So let’s look at it the other way. They survived solely because the kid, 16-year-old Alex Hribal, didn’t have a gun. He had discovered his inner demon, as American psychos often do, but he didn’t have the technology to allow its full potential.

Thank God. Who knows why he chose the blade instead of the bullet? Not having a military-grade weapon seems strangely retro, in the age of mass murder. Maybe he couldn’t afford one — another indictment of how the rich are screwing us all. Or maybe he hadn’t spent enough time on the Internet to learn that, dollar for dollar, a semiautomatic weapon is really the most efficient tool for killing a lot of people in a short period of time.

In any case, all his victims will carry on — scarred but alive. That’s the reason we don’t demand that kitchen knives be regulated, but do think it would be better if military-grade weapons were harder to get. We know that nuts will be nuts, but every person with workable legs has a sporting chance against a knife. Not so much against a gun.

I hope I never meet a homicidal lunatic, but if I do I’d sure rather he were carrying a Wusthof instead of, say, a Colt M4.