Don’t tempt me.
We got this letter in the mail yesterday, with no return address. Gerald, it’s clear, is talking about a top-dollar offer. You can tell because he has spared no expense in his property acquisition program. Those dollar signs don’t come cheap.
I’m blurring out his phone number for a reason: I don’t want anyone to jump on this sweet deal before I do.
All that pretty water
A cold night in January
My place in the cloud
One more time in print
I’m thinking no one throws around ‘$buy$’ lightly…this guy obviously means business. That must be some roof!
Heh. Yep, that roof is working its magic already.
Man, that is the funniest thing I have read all month. Thanks for the chuckle, my bro.
We got a kick out of it. I wonder if he just blanketed the neighborhood, or picked us out as particularly naive?
I started getting letters like that once a month, beginning a few weeks after the death of my mother in Jan. ’12. – she and I co-owned the duplex I live in.
Most of the letters, like yours, were handwritten on notebook paper. (impressive, eh?) For the first year they were hand-addressed to The (mother’s surname) Family. Clearly the guy was getting his hot leads from the obituaries. Later the letters had printed address labels, but were still hand written on notebook paper. Starting in October of ’13, it was back to hand-addressed, but inside was a pre-printed flier.
He must be having some success, though – despite his uncouth tactics. His most recent missive was a professionally printed post-card which detailed why he was able to offer $ CASH $.
I guess, on the plus side, neither of our prospective buyers told us they’d buy ‘ugly houses.’
Sheesh. His name wasn’t Gerald, was it?
Seems like an odd way to run a scam. I mean, what kind of idiot would get something like that and decide to give the guy a call?
I suspect he’s working off a list of every property in a certain area and just hoping that someone with incipient dementia decides to respond. Might pay off; the only overhead is postage.
Great caption. I’ve received a bunch of these things. My mom has too (especially after my dad died – yep). But never a hand-written one. That is funny.