Lucky me. Today I received this check in the mail for $1,350, from my good friends at U.S. Airlines. Apparently I can use it for round-trip tickets to any place in the country. Sweet.
Now all I have to do is figure out where in the hell U.S. Airlines is, exactly. I know it’s not U.S. Airways, since that carrier isn’t known for sending out checks willy-nilly, especially since the merger with American. Checking the Internet, the only mention I can find of U.S. Airlines is in connection with long-running scam wherein certain crooked bastards send out real-looking checks in the hope of persuading idiots to sign on to a timeshare scheme. But that can’t be it. Because I’m no idiot. And it says right there on the check that it’s no timeshare scheme.
Anyway, I’m off to deposit my check. And from there to Donnie’s Rent-to-Own Luggage to piss away a portion of my newfound travel budget. Easy come, as they say. And easy go.
Judgment Day
The suits are ruining the Republic
Sidewalk swine
Sympathy for the jammer
A short killer and his tall clown
I think the fake security feature (“This document has a blue background”) is a nice touch.
Yes! If it’s blue, it MUST be genuine.
You really should turn that over to the police. At some point, it might be another nail in the coffin of convicting them of mail fraud.
But then the police might find out about the lucrative cockfighting business I run out of my home.
Here’s your chance to take that cruise you always wanted~~
Damn right. I’m not one of those who is fussy about nonfunctioning toilets.