Dave's Fiction Warehouse

In which I bloviate about books, TV, movies, politics and other stuff -- all without the aid of ChatGPT!

  • Books
  • Movies
  • TV
  • politics
  • american life
  • Writing
  • Other Stuff

Connect

  • Email
  • Facebook

Powered by Genesis

Money in the mail

March 14, 2013 by Dave Knadler

Lucky me. Today I received this check in the mail for $1,350, from my good friends at U.S. Airlines. Apparently I can use it for round-trip tickets to any place in the country. Sweet.

Now all I have to do is figure out where in the hell U.S. Airlines is, exactly. I know it’s not U.S. Airways, since that carrier isn’t known for sending out checks willy-nilly, especially since the merger with American. Checking the Internet, the only mention I can find of U.S. Airlines is in connection with long-running scam wherein certain crooked bastards send out real-looking checks in the hope of persuading idiots to sign on to a timeshare scheme. But that can’t be it. Because I’m no idiot. And it says right there on the check that it’s no timeshare scheme.

Anyway, I’m off to deposit my check. And from there to Donnie’s Rent-to-Own Luggage to piss away a portion of my newfound travel budget. Easy come, as they say. And easy go.

More along these lines:

  • One twit’s fight for fame
  • kim jong un and dennis rodman in north koreaA short killer and his tall clown
  • springfield parking hogsSidewalk swine
  • Thieves, yes. But not that lovableThieves, yes. But not that lovable
  • house republicans payroll tax standoffThe suits are ruining the Republic

Filed Under: spam, swindlers, Swine

Comments

  1. John H. says

    March 14, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    I think the fake security feature (“This document has a blue background”) is a nice touch.

    • Dave Knadler says

      March 14, 2013 at 5:17 pm

      Yes! If it’s blue, it MUST be genuine.

  2. Paula says

    March 14, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    You really should turn that over to the police. At some point, it might be another nail in the coffin of convicting them of mail fraud.

    • Dave Knadler says

      March 14, 2013 at 5:19 pm

      But then the police might find out about the lucrative cockfighting business I run out of my home.

  3. Deb says

    March 14, 2013 at 7:14 pm

    Here’s your chance to take that cruise you always wanted~~

    • Dave Knadler says

      March 14, 2013 at 8:31 pm

      Damn right. I’m not one of those who is fussy about nonfunctioning toilets.

Recent posts

  • Full frontal Florida
  • Later, alligator
  • A writer on top
    of the short-story game
  • ‘The Passenger’
    will please refrain
  • Floaters in the stream

Recent comments

  • John H. on Full frontal Florida
  • Rachel Kohl on Later, alligator
  • Dave Knadler on Later, alligator
  • John H. on Later, alligator
  • Dave Knadler on Later, alligator

FInd something

send dave cash

The obligatory PayPal donation button. Go ahead: Make my day.