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Presidents matter. Popes, not so much.

March 12, 2013 by Dave Knadler

Can't wait to see how this turns out.

Can’t wait to see how this turns out.

Of all the stories in the news today, the least interesting has to be this gathering of cardinals to pick a new pope. And yet there it is, topping all the news sites. The media love this stuff, the red robes and the chimney and the white smoke. It’s all about stagecraft. You’d think it was the season finale of “The Bachelor.”

Maybe it’s just me. Reviewing the list of papal elections since I was born (five, not counting this one), it appears that none of them made the slightest difference in my spiritual outlook or standard of living. Only one pope had any impact at all on yours truly: Pope John Paul I, who inconveniently expired right after deadline and forced me to work later that night because we had to remake the front page. From that day forward, those of us on the news desk always invoked the phrase “Better see if the pope died” before calling it a shift.

This isn’t Catholic-bashing, by the way. Far from it. I have great respect for all religions except that one with Tom Cruise in it. I just think it’s a little late in the day to be pretending that a papal election has much relevance to anybody but the cardinals conducting it. By now even devout Catholics know that popes are emphatically fallible. And it’s hard to think of any recent news story regarding a cardinal that is not about some heinous impropriety. The Catholics I know adhere to the faith not because of church leaders, but in spite of them.

A papal election matters these days only because it is the minting of a new celebrity. Somehow we never get enough of those. We never get enough coverage of celebrities saying and doing things that are completely expected. I can confidently predict a few things about the next pope right now: he (pretty sure of the pronoun) will be somebody we’ve never heard of, he will favor world peace, and he will vaguely favor the status quo while making vague pronouncements about vague reforms. He will visit at least one third-world nation to great fanfare — like Ted Nugent, you go where the fans are.

Finally, he will wear white in public. And the world will go on pretty much as before.

Oh, and here’s the best story on the conclave I’ve seen so far today.

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  • Can we leave Hitler out of this?

Filed Under: Other Stuff, religion

Comments

  1. John H. says

    March 12, 2013 at 2:23 pm

    A bunch of old (mostly) white guys electing another old white guy to lead them. This shouldn’t get any more coverage than picking the next Speaker of the House, yet it’s the lead story (complete with live reports of nothing happening in Rome) on every TV news show.

    • Dave Knadler says

      March 16, 2013 at 2:06 pm

      For as archaic as the concept is, people still love the tradition I guess.

  2. Sheila says

    March 12, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    But what went wrong with your other post? I Was dying to know if that was your Latin transcript of what’s going on at the conclave…where, yes, there will undoubtedly be another old white guy picked to be head of the church.

    • Dave Knadler says

      March 16, 2013 at 2:07 pm

      Hey! Nobody was supposed to see that!

  3. Stock says

    March 12, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    I wonder if it will be one of those guys with the red patent leather slippers?

    • Dave Knadler says

      March 16, 2013 at 2:05 pm

      Apparently not. Got to get me a pair of those.

  4. Paula says

    March 12, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    As a non Catholic, I don’t think any pope in my lifetime has had the same impact as Pope John XXIII. He made some great changes.

    • Dave Knadler says

      March 16, 2013 at 2:04 pm

      Early days yet, but this Francis seems to at least be trying. I will reserve further judgment.

      • Paula says

        March 16, 2013 at 2:42 pm

        I agree. I like what I’ve seen and read so far. I’m a little disturbed about the Jesuit thing. I’ve been trying to determine the truth about modern day Jesuits (compared to their dark past), but it is hard to come by. I haven’t found a site that I can trust to be factual, just some that are obviously run by haters of Catholics.

  5. Paul Jefferson says

    March 15, 2013 at 1:07 am

    Dave, I have to thank you for blog. Not only is it interesting in a “fly on the wall” kind of way, it does provide insight into daily life, and lives, that we all can mostly relate to. And BTW, the site where the papal conclave story appeared is, in a phrase, “the bomb.” I surfed it for a while and had tears in my eyes from laughing at the articles…thanks again.And BTW #2, do we have to use PayPal to send you some $$$? I don’t trust it, fully, but if you keep this up I’ll bite the bullet, OK?

    • Dave Knadler says

      March 16, 2013 at 2:03 pm

      I also accept donations by way of checks, unmarked bills and krugerrands. Actually, kind remarks are pretty good too.

      Thanks.

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