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I’m not in the market just now …

September 26, 2012 by Dave Knadler

scooter ad

Something to look forward to.

I keep getting crap like this in the mail: Scooter ads. I suspect The Scooter Store knows I may not be in the market right now, but they also know I’m not getting any younger. Pretty soon, they figure, I’ll be one of those sullen folks tooling around Sam’s Club on my keister, regretting all sorts of diet decisions in the past.

I like that picture: A white scooterist with a cheerful black assistant, who seems to be pointing out something of interest — maybe the burial plot her employer was induced to buy last week after receiving another ad targeted at the soon-to-be inert.

I think of all the older people I know who have died in recent years. Somehow I’m heartened to know none of them ever had to go the scooter route. I hope I don’t either. Yesterday I did a few miles on the treadmill, plus a few weights. Getting this ad has strengthened my resolve to hit the gym again today.

More along these lines:

  • The glossophobe judge
  • Some dopamine of one’s ownSome dopamine of one’s own
  • town pump casino in belgrade, montanaA casino on every corner
  • dream cafe seinfeldA tale of two restaurants
  • kramer seinfeld the stock tip episodeMaybe that “dislike” button is a good idea

Filed Under: american life

About Dave Knadler

Obscure writer. Lazy photographer. Bashful guitarist. Perhaps too fond of wine. Tireless nemesis of New York Times crosswords.

Comments

  1. Deb says

    September 26, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    I had a good laugh over this…especially the ‘point of interest burial plot’….good one…thanks!

    • Dave Knadler says

      September 26, 2012 at 8:05 pm

      Thanks, Deb.

  2. Joan says

    September 26, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    I sometimes wonder what, exactly, my profile looks like to those “targeted ads” people. They don’t seem to want to sell me a scooter. Maybe they think I can’t drive. They DO want me to shrink my belly (I don’t even want to know how they know it needs shrinking), buy a smart phone (I don’t know how to use most of the features on my dumb one), and Facebook, who should have a handle on my needs and preferences, thinks I should friend my husband’s ex-wife! Sheesh! Targeted advertising has a long way to go.

    • Dave Knadler says

      September 26, 2012 at 8:05 pm

      Yes, I don’t think they see us as we see ourselves. Maybe that’s a good thing, all in all.

  3. Paula says

    September 26, 2012 at 6:26 pm

    I look for medicare to tighten up the rules on those scooters. “60Minutes” had an expose a while back about how there are sham businesses set up selling those to non existent clients and pocketing a ton of medicare money.

    • Dave Knadler says

      September 26, 2012 at 8:04 pm

      I had read something about that. Another reason to be glad I’m not scooter shopping just now.

  4. John H. says

    September 27, 2012 at 12:42 am

    I like “soon-to-be-inert”.

    Chronologically and financially, I’m not ready for retirement. (Mentally? I’ve been ready for years now.) And fortunately I’m not in the market for a scooter, either. But AARP has been trying to recruit my wife and me since our late 30s. They keep pointing out that you don’t have to be retired to join. Ok, fair enough, but what would be the point of joining before any possible benefit would apply? As a sort of, “AARP, yay!” gesture?

    • Dave Knadler says

      September 27, 2012 at 8:33 am

      The more members the better for AARP. They’d recruit third-graders, if they could. Out of foolish pride, I still won’t use that AARP discount at motels.

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