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Just another naked royal

by

kate middleton

Most people look better in clothes.

I doubt that Queen Elizabeth II ever went topless even in her own bathtub. So it must annoy her no end that all of her daughters-in-law have now managed display their bare bosoms to the paparazzi. What did that take, about 17 months? And don’t get the Queen started on Prince Harry going bottomless in Vegas.

But seriously: What the hell, Kate? It’s a sumptuous French chateau, not a Ramada Inn — surely there was a balcony that didn’t face the road. It all fits with my theory that the younger royals really don’t mind this kind of thing. Far from it. Diana was like that: always whining about the media attention and always doing everything possible to make sure it never let up. Vanity, thy name is woman. Without a bared breast and a whiff of scandal, you become just another pretty face at boring charity events. Royals don’t get naked, but celebrities do.

I understand that part of it. What I don’t get is the infantile fascination with the resulting pictures, the expressions of “sadness” and “outrage” and the frantic search by Google’s millions to find these damned pics and have look at them already.

Really? I’m told that photographs of attractive naked women are widely available on the Internet, and that the pictures are actually in focus. Must be a voyeur thing, peeping at a pretty woman who, ostensibly, doesn’t know she’s being peeped at. Maybe it is kind of sad after all.

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Comments

  1. Don’t go blaming the victim here, Dave. As I hear it, the chateau where the “royals” were visiting was pretty remote. There isn’t much privacy to be had when mercenary jerks with long lenses are creeping around in the bushes. I remember years ago when Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was embarrassed to be photographed topless. She was on her husband’s yacht in the middle of the sea!

    • Kind of goes with the territory when you’re a celebrity. The solution would seem to be keeping a few clothes on while out of doors. That would be a sacrifice, I know.

  2. Sorry, I’m with Joan. She was in a private home with her lawful husband, no one else around. They were only visible because someone was hidden with a very LONG lens.

    Prince Harry, on the other hand had no better sense than to be naked at a party with numerous individuals, none of whom he was married to. Plus he needs to learn to associate with a better class of “friends”, the kind that don’t use their phone to take pictures of him in a compromising position and distribute them.

  3. Wait… you can use the Internet to see pictures of naked women? Why didn’t anybody tell me this before????