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Forever on the hips

June 12, 2012 by Dave Knadler

Is this worth two days at the gym?

According to this story in the New York Times, two-thirds of adults in the Bronx are overweight. I know, right? But then it’s the Bronx, poorest of the five boroughs. Waddaya gonna do? However, it gets worse:

“According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 68 percent of adults in the United States were either overweight or obese in 2008.”

So as a nation, we’re fatter than the Bronx!? WTF? You wonder why Al Qaeda even bothers to mess around with underwear bombs; at this rate we’ll be permanently confined to our La-Z-Boys by 2017 and they can just walk around killing us with hammers.

So while I disagree in principle with plans to ban super-size sodas in New York, I can sympathize with the frustration behind it. Think about it: despite decades of research on the mysterious link between Coke cups the size of wastebaskets and asses the size of planets, people don’t care. They keep upgrading their power scooters and dreaming one day of cashing in on a fat class-action suit against McDonald’s. They keep squeezing in next to me in coach, overflowing both armrests. Now that personal accountability is obsolete, perhaps draconian steps are in order.

If you’re going to ban gigantic sodas though, why stop there? Why not ban Baconators, too? And those family-size containers of fried chicken at Winn-Dixie? I’d get on board with that. I’d also support legislation requiring fat people to join a gym and show proof of attendance, with the proviso that it wouldn’t entail me having to wait for a machine.

Yeah, I’m back at the gym myself. I ride my bike down there most days. I hate it most days, too, until I hit the shower. It’s hot and it’s boring and I hate that fact that an hour of working out can be nullified by five minutes at a drive-through. It makes me misty-eyed that my Burger King days are behind me.

There’s just something about passing 60 — you accept that you’ll never be skinny, but it becomes important that you remain able to tie your own shoes. At 30 you can shed five pounds in a week; at 60 it takes a freaking year. Dignity is elusive when you waddle instead of walk. At some point, you’d think, obese people would quit with the enormous soft drinks even if the law didn’t require it. But if that’s what it takes …

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Filed Under: american life

Comments

  1. Deb says

    June 13, 2012 at 7:13 am

    Serious subject matter aside…..this made me laugh out loud. Thanks for a funny start to the day!

  2. Dave Knadler says

    June 13, 2012 at 11:43 am

    If I can make just one person laugh, I’m doing my job. Apparently, you are that one person.

    Thanks, Deb.

  3. Joan says

    June 13, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    I am not surprised that Brooklyn, poorest of the New York boroughs, has the heftiest people. They’re not just fat – a lot of them are malnourished as well. It’s not always just about poor choices. People in poorer neighborhoods have a hard time finding affordable healthy food. Grocery stores are scarce but convenience stores and fast food are everywhere. Even if a grocery store or farmers’ market happens to be nearby, check those prices! You can feed a family of four from the dollar menu for about ten bucks. Fifteen if you supersize it. Now look at the sticker on that pot roast in the grocery store or that bag of apples. Around here that roast is probably $3.79 a pound, the apples $3.99 a bag. Even a sack of potatoes will set you back about three bucks. And of course you have to drag that stuff home and cook it. You’re tired. The kids are hungry and whiny. You can get a double cheeseburger for $.99 at the golden arches, a small hamburger for $.79. Fries are on the dollar menu, too. See the problem? When you don’t have a ton of money, it’s easy to tell yourself that whatever is cheap is a good bargain, and right now the cheapest food is what’s killing us.

    • Dave Knadler says

      June 13, 2012 at 6:28 pm

      Yep. But even if fresh produce were being handed out free on every street corner, most people wouldn’t eat it. In some neighborhoods, most wouldn’t even know what it was. That’s how far we’ve come.

      I don’t think it’s all a function of economics, though. It’s a function of convenience. People are fundamentally lazy, and will take the easiest route every time. Even if it kills them. Or puts them in a power scooter before their time.

  4. Joan says

    June 13, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    OK, full disclosure. I suffer from Buffet Butt. I don’t live in a “food desert.” I know how to cook. I have forgotten how to ride a bicycle. For some of us it IS about the choices. There! I feel better.

    • Dave Knadler says

      June 13, 2012 at 6:33 pm

      Full disclosure here, too: I love junk food of every description. I’m no Jack LaLanne. And I’m not one to talk.

  5. Paula says

    June 14, 2012 at 12:04 am

    My weight goes up and down. I try to eat more healthy food, less unhealthy food. BUT…..no matter how the scale is going, I eat fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean meat, even if I have some junk too. I was raised on home grown produce. It amazes me when checking out at the grocery how often some teenager or twenty something waves a zucchini or turnip or something at me and asks what it is.

    My parents both worked full time at low pay, and still put nourishing food on the table. Carryout was rare. Sweets were usually at least homemade and not full of chemicals. We all have a bad day once in a while and let fast food rescue us, but I just don’t buy the necessity of it becoming anyone’s main diet, no matter how poor. Beans and cornbread and greens are cheap compared to fast food.

    I confess I have no experience with the “food island” concept, can’t even imagine it. I’ve lived in Arkansas my whole life, in tiny towns and small to medium size cities, and have never lived anywhere that wasn’t within a VERY short drive of an adequate grocery store, usually within walking distance. These stores seem eager to take in all the money people will spend. I can’t imagine anyplace where people live without groceries moving in to take the money!

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