Maybe that “dislike” button is a good idea

Regarding Facebook, I’m starting to feel like Kramer in that Seinfeld episode, “The Stock Tip.” I put FB on my Yahoo listings and smile each time I look at it. Something about watching stock you don’t own plummet in value — it just makes all the world a sunny day. I guess they call that Schadenfreude. As Jerry would say: “Why does it please you?” I don’t know. It just does.

The good news is that if you bought 10,000 shares of Facebook yesterday, you’re up about 10 large. The bad news is that if you bought it at the IPO, you’re down about 60 large. (I like the word “large” as opposed to “thousand.” It makes me sound more streetwise.)

So now everybody who bought the stock is all mad. Which, here in America, means they have all retained counsel. Everybody’s suing. Of course they are! The Founding Fathers were very prescient when they included in the list of unalienable rights that fourth one, about freedom from the consequences of shitty investments. They clearly never intended that any greedy person should ever get snookered, whether buying stock or buying a house. Somebody’s going to pay for this. Just not Facebook CFO David Ebersman, or any of the gigantic financial institutions who pumped so much helium into the IPO and intervened to keep the stock from tanking on Day One.

If I had to guess, I’d say the United States government will somehow get the bill for this too. The gigantic financial institutions have been through a lot lately. You can’t expect them to take responsibility for a stock swindle. Or, really, anything else but fleecing sheep.