It’s all about the barns

Today I received some materials from the Romney campaign. That’s the price of registering as an independent. The package included a large photo of the candidate, standing in front of a weathered barn. There’s a tractor in the shot, and an American flag. Mitt is wearing slightly-used jeans. The implication is that the photographer happened by while the candidate was doing chores. Apparently, at Bain Capital there’s more to do than just manage the portfolios of billionaires. You also have responsibilities down at the barn.

The accompanying letter underlines the eight words of the Romney platform: “I stand for freedom and opportunity and hope.” It requests a donation of at least $35. Which seems like kind of an arbitrary figure. Why not $25, or $50? But studies have probably shown that $35 is the magic number among those who prefer policies of eight words or less.

I have yet to receive a similar package from the Obama campaign. When it comes, I expect to see a radically different platform, something like “liberty and the chance to succeed and optimism.” Oh yeah, and we’re with Biden on the gay marriage thing. It will be interesting to see what sort of donation is regarded as the minimum.

Not that it matters. I never give to any political campaign. Mostly because I’m cheap, but also because I’m insulted by the invariable use of disingenuous images and poll-driven positions. Has there ever been an American candidate for anything who didn’t “stand” for freedom and opportunity and hope? Who believed in anything that didn’t poll well? Has there ever been campaign ad that didn’t cast the candidate as the stalwart pal of the blue-collar worker?

Hate to say it, but at this point it’s not entirely clear which of these guys would be the better president. I suppose Obama is less patently fake, and slightly less beholden to gigantic financial institutions. If he gets through the next few months without posing in front of a weathered barn, I might lean that way. But I imagine the chances of that happening are nil.