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‘Dallas’ without the oil. Or the shoulderpads.

March 5, 2012 by Dave Knadler

abc revenge still

Joshua Bowman and Emily VanCamp in "Revenge."

Turning to something completely different, has anybody else seen that stupid ABC show Revenge? The premise is one that resonates in these uncertain economic times: A nice-looking woman goes around ruining the billionaires who ruined her childhood.

In some ways, Revenge is the bizarro version of another TV show I remember watching slack-jawed as a kid: The Millionaire. In that show, an odd-looking man goes around making millionaires of total strangers. Of course, that was in the late ’50s. A lot of things have gone bizarro since then.

Back to Revenge. We’ve gone through the first eight or nine episodes on Hulu Plus. It’s a trashy show, one I’d call a guilty pleasure if I experienced a great deal of guilt or pleasure from it. It is satisfying, I guess, to watch masters of the universe being laid low in the Hamptons. But after a promising start, the writing and plotting have gotten so ham-handed that the satisfaction has become elusive.

For example, the instrument of every billionaire’s undoing is always some surreptitious video. No matter what evil the villains do, somehow the heroine (Emily VanCamp) is always able to obtain remarkably clear footage of them doing it. The plotting depends heavily on the cash reserves and supposedly mad computer skills of our heroine’s billionaire sidekick. The guy is sort of a Lisbeth Salander without the personality or sex appeal. Really, when you’re bringing down billionaires, wouldn’t it be nice if you didn’t need another billionaire to do it?

I’ll also condemn the pretentious voice-overs and the horrendous cliche (already) of a character with amnesia. Aarrgh! Still, we watch because we can. On Hulu Plus, you can gorge on this kind of thing for a mere $8 a month. It may be crap, but the price is right.

More along these lines:

  • The not-so-quick and ‘The Walking Dead’
  • Peace through television
  • Seinfeld cast in Monk's CafeA classic and a clunker
  • clint eastwood chryslerIt’s all about hope — that you’ll buy more stuff
  • My last bit of praise for “Breaking Bad’

Filed Under: tv

About Dave Knadler

Obscure writer. Lazy photographer. Bashful guitarist. Perhaps too fond of wine. Tireless nemesis of New York Times crosswords.

Comments

  1. Jessie K says

    March 5, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    How dare you?!?! Revenge is one of my favorite shows! Melodrama at its best!

    • Dave Knadler says

      March 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

      Yep. In a way, I’m glad to see prime-time soaps back in vogue. Even the worst of them is better than the best reality show.

      How about that Madeleine Stowe? Joan Collins ain’t got nothin’ on her.

      • Jessie K says

        March 7, 2012 at 10:20 pm

        I love the casting, though Madeleine Stowe does get on my nerves ever so slightly. I also like that they play it straight — melodrama without the camp. A refreshing guilty pleasure.

  2. Dave's bride says

    March 5, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    We probably should refrain from watching more than five or six episodes in one sitting. Love Madeleine Stowe!

  3. Paul Jefferson says

    March 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    Dave, I’m with Jesse K. on this one. Revenge is a great show in the TV landscape. Revenge is somewhat sweet, but she*Emily) does have complications in her scheme. And she looks good doing it. The writers haven’t bailed, yet, and are still bringing their “A” game.

    • Dave Knadler says

      March 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

      I guess we must respectfully disagree on this. I thought the show started off well, which is why I kept watching. But to me, the writing has declined steadily since about episode five. Now it’s all about these implausible schemes and hookups that never quite go anywhere.

      Not that I’ve quit watching, of course …

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