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So long, ‘Downton.’ See you next year

February 20, 2012 by Dave Knadler

mary matthew downton abbey proposal

When you're in love, you don't need a coat.

The close of Season 2 leaves me with only a few questions: What startling evidence will spare Bates a life sentence? How will Mary’s scandal play out in the press? And most importantly, why don’t people there ever put on a sweater? Tess is still shivering at the way those ladies stand around in their skimpy gowns. In England, it gets cold in January. Especially with no central heating.

But on the whole it was a pretty good episode. There’s nothing I like more than seeing two men in evening dress fist-fighting in the drawing room. In an extended tussle, my money would be on Richard Carlisle, but Matthew was surprisingly spry for a man recovering from a recent spinal injury. I think we can assume that his, uh, reproductive functions have recovered as well. Sybil’s already “crossed the Rubicon,” as Lord Grantham put it, so Mary can’t be far behind. Unfortunately, soap-opera pregnancies rarely end well.

That was a nice bit with the Ouija board, Mrs. Patmore channeling her own self to once again point Daisy in the right direction. I liked the scene of Edith trying to rekindle her romantic prospects with Lord Strallen: “if you think I’m going to give up on someone who calls me lovely …” And I wholeheartedly approve of Thomas’ outlandish scheme to kidnap the Earl’s dog and then become a hero by rescuing it. It was ridiculous, of course, but Thomas is at his best when he’s actually doing something besides smoking.

Speaking of Mary’s scandal, is anybody else still waiting for another shoe to drop? Mary’s lovely, to be sure, I still don’t quite accept that a healthy young Turk would just expire atop her. In my experience, young men hardly ever die in the act of intercourse, unless it’s at the hand of a cuckolded husband. I’ve always thought Thomas must have connived to poison Mr. Pamuk to keep his homosexuality safely in the closet. If you’ll recall, Thomas put his cards on the table in Season 1 and was dramatically rebuffed. That’s a pretty good motive. Yes, murder would be cheap melodrama, but no more so than a guy with amnesia who survived the Titanic.

That guy remains gone, thank God. Will he be back? We’ll see next year. For all my quibbling with the writing, it’s going to be a long wait.

More along these lines:

  • florida beggarMoney for nothing? I don’t think so.
  • The author at the helm of his rented canoeWay down upon the Suwannee River
  • cialis tubs the bachelor‘The Bachelor’: That’s a line I won’t cross
  • confederate park jacksonvilleA man and his iPhone 4s
  • sixth floor oswalA conspiracy of dunces

Filed Under: Other Stuff, tv

About Dave Knadler

Obscure writer. Lazy photographer. Bashful guitarist. Perhaps too fond of wine. Tireless nemesis of New York Times crosswords.

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