My very own vagina monologues

This might offend a few of my eight or so regular readers, but I plan to increase my use of the word “vagina” in day-to-day posts.

I don’t make the decision lightly. In fact, I wouldn’t make it at all except for this New York Times piece detailing how “vagina” — I’m talking the word here, not the body part — has created a comedy goldmine for a slew of new sitcoms. Apparently, even if a gag is amusing on its own, the word “vagina” makes it an absolute laff riot.

It makes sense. I remember the uproarious laugh track on “Good Times” whenever J.J. would make his eyes real big and say “DY-NO-Mite!” Think how much funnier it would have been if he’d said “VAGI-NO-Mite!” Gold, Jerry. Gold.

Although I admit it also seems counterintuitive. Writers of raunchy comedies have been getting laughs for years by using euphemisms for the male reproductive organ — your schlong, your johnson, your wang, your bishop, and so forth — but the actual anatomical term, “penis,” never quite tickles the funny bone in the same way. In fact, it’s actually kind of depressing when you put it like that. Not sure why.

No matter. The Times piece will probably make “vagina” a trending topic (as opposed to the euphemisms, which are always trending topics), and if a certain blog has posts liberally salted with the word, it may be that a certain blogger will enjoy a temporary uptick in traffic. It’s all about eyeballs, baby. It’s all about SEO and CPM and the big bucks that accrue to those on the cutting edge.

And of course, it’s all about the comedy. Laughter’s good for the soul. So: Vagina. Vagina vagina vagina. Funny, no? Say it over and over real fast and see how long it takes for the word to lose its meaning.