Today marks day 528 of my quest to do without an iPad. That’s one full year and, let’s see … quite a few days. It’s been a hell of a sacrifice, but that’s how I roll.
Like most of the things I do, this is for the children. When the iPad was first released in January of 2010, I lined up pledges from a number of major corporations. The way I pitched it, it’s like the Race for the Cure except I don’t actually have to run. All I have to do is resist the temptation to buy a sweet, sweet iPad. Each day I do, $18.78 is deposited into the account of a shell corporation I had the foresight to set up in Wyoming. At the end of each month, I deduct expenses and forward the rest to Dave’s Ranch for Crippled But Photogenic Youth, which is also a shell corporation in Wyoming. While I can’t divulge how much the DRCBPY account now contains, let’s just say it’s a pretty penny. Someday soon those good-looking crippled kids are going to be photographed accepting an oversized check from yours truly.
But enough about them. The important thing is how a guy like me is willing to give something back to society, even though he has yet to receive anything of value. Nobody needs an iPad, but everybody has one because the bigger screen really makes “Angry Birds” come alive. Everybody but me. I just keep soldiering along with my iPhone 3Gs, cursing my crappy reception and the miniscule screen that fits in my pocket. A hero? Some might say so. But I keep telling myself it’s all about the kids.
Of course, I’d sell them down the river in a minute if the iPad offered one single thing that might make my life better in one small way. But it doesn’t, so that helps with the sacrifice thing. Just between you and me, these 582 days have been easier than I thought. I’m pretty sure now that I can run out the clock.