Dave's Fiction Warehouse

In which I bloviate about books, TV, movies, politics and other stuff I know little about..

  • Books
  • Movies
  • TV
  • politics
  • american life
  • Writing
  • Other Stuff

Connect

  • Email
  • Facebook

Powered by Genesis

We don’t need no stinking iPads

July 8, 2011 by Dave Knadler

Today marks day 528 of my quest to do without an iPad. That’s one full year and, let’s see … quite a few days. It’s been a hell of a sacrifice, but that’s how I roll.

Like most of the things I do, this is for the children.  When the iPad was first released in January of 2010, I lined up pledges from a number of major corporations. The way I pitched it, it’s like the Race for the Cure except I don’t actually have to run. All I have to do is resist the temptation to buy a sweet, sweet iPad. Each day I do, $18.78 is deposited into the account of a shell corporation I had the foresight to set up in Wyoming. At the end of each month, I deduct expenses and forward the rest to Dave’s Ranch for Crippled But Photogenic Youth, which is also a shell corporation in Wyoming. While I can’t divulge how much the DRCBPY account now contains, let’s just say it’s a pretty penny. Someday soon those good-looking crippled kids are going to be photographed accepting an oversized check from yours truly.

But enough about them. The important thing is how a guy like me is willing to give something back to society, even though he has yet to receive anything of value. Nobody needs an iPad, but everybody has one because the bigger screen really makes “Angry Birds” come alive. Everybody but me. I just keep soldiering along with my iPhone 3Gs, cursing my crappy reception and the miniscule screen that fits in my pocket. A hero? Some might say so.  But I keep telling myself it’s all about the kids.

Of course, I’d sell them down the river in a minute if the iPad offered one single thing that might make my life better in one small way. But it doesn’t, so that helps with the sacrifice thing. Just between you and me, these 582 days have been easier than I thought.  I’m pretty sure now that I can run out the clock.

More along these lines:

  • the strain book coverThoroughly modern vampires
  • Presidents matter. Popes, not so much.
  • An incident in the breakfast area
  • kathleen sebeliusNo end to selective outrage
  • rep. andrew weinerTime to catalog those crotch shots

Filed Under: Other Stuff

Comments

  1. Dirk Krinkle says

    July 20, 2011 at 11:24 am

    While they’re certainly “neat”, ultimately the iPad is little better than a toy, gizmo, etc. I work with numerous folks who think they’re going to be able to conduct their day-to-day business via the iPad, but that’s simply not the case.

  2. John H. says

    July 29, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    That’s been my experience too – at work the iPad users seem to waste a lot of time mucking around with them, but have very little to show for it. The only person I’ve encountered who said it is actually better than a laptop was not at work – he was an AT&T installation guy. He said he likes the iPad a lot better because it’s so much lighter. But later he admitted that one of the programs that he sometimes uses won’t run on the iPad, so I guess it doesn’t fully replace the laptop.

Recent posts

  • The cold, hard West
  • The talented Mr. Santos
  • Reich of fools
  • Mad about Harry
  • The Cartwrights
    stand their ground

Recent comments

  • John H. on The cold, hard West
  • Dave Knadler on The talented Mr. Santos
  • John H. on The talented Mr. Santos
  • John H. on Reich of fools
  • Erin on Reich of fools

FInd something

send dave cash

The obligatory PayPal donation button. Go ahead: Make my day.