Nothing a name change won’t fix

That was then.

The Weiner story has gotten old rather quickly. Can’t we just move on? After all, it’s not about the unsolicited schlong shots, it’s about the lying.

Just kidding. Of course it’s about the unsolicited schlong shots, and the childlike amazement we all feel that this sort of story should revolve around a man named Weiner. It just doesn’t get any better than that. As long as the congressman doesn’t resign or change his name, and as long as there is an endless supply of young women willing to be interviewed about how they came to receive pictures of Tony’s package, this story ain’t going away. At least until Newt Gingrich suffers another lapse in fidelity. Which should be, let’s see, in about 20 minutes.

About the name change. Maybe it’s too soon to contemplate, but I’m just thinking out loud here. Brainstorming, kicking around a few ideas. I’m tweeting them to Weiner. How does Rep. Anthony Salawmy sound? Rep. Marty McWang? Rep. Haywood Jablome? For a more ethnic feel, how about Rep. Span’kh de Monquet? If you want, we can drop the Rep title. Since that’s probably in the cards anyway.

You’ve got to feel for Tony’s wife Huma. Pregnant and now this. Instead of just one infant in her life, now she’ll have two. But things could always be worse. I’ve been thinking about Tiger Woods’ ex-wife. I’ll bet she’s watching this and shaking her head. Thinking, “If Tiger had just sent pictures of his tool, instead of presenting it in person, we might still be married.”