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Nothing a name change won’t fix

June 9, 2011 by Dave Knadler

huma and anthony weiner

That was then.

The Weiner story has gotten old rather quickly. Can’t we just move on? After all, it’s not about the unsolicited schlong shots, it’s about the lying.

Just kidding. Of course it’s about the unsolicited schlong shots, and the childlike amazement we all feel that this sort of story should revolve around a man named Weiner. It just doesn’t get any better than that. As long as the congressman doesn’t resign or change his name, and as long as there is an endless supply of young women willing to be interviewed about how they came to receive pictures of Tony’s package, this story ain’t going away. At least until Newt Gingrich suffers another lapse in fidelity. Which should be, let’s see, in about 20 minutes.

About the name change. Maybe it’s too soon to contemplate, but I’m just thinking out loud here. Brainstorming, kicking around a few ideas. I’m tweeting them to Weiner. How does Rep. Anthony Salawmy sound? Rep. Marty McWang? Rep. Haywood Jablome? For a more ethnic feel, how about Rep. Span’kh de Monquet? If you want, we can drop the Rep title. Since that’s probably in the cards anyway.

You’ve got to feel for Tony’s wife Huma. Pregnant and now this. Instead of just one infant in her life, now she’ll have two. But things could always be worse. I’ve been thinking about Tiger Woods’ ex-wife. I’ll bet she’s watching this and shaking her head. Thinking, “If Tiger had just sent pictures of his tool, instead of presenting it in person, we might still be married.”

More along these lines:

  • A hobby can help
  • I must be smarter
  • No time to go wobbly, JohnNo time to go wobbly, John
  • Photoshop woman, stay away from me
  • An incident in the breakfast area

Filed Under: Other Stuff, politics

Comments

  1. Joan says

    June 9, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    Dave, My only complaint about your blog has been the long waits between posts. WOW! Seven great posts in eight days! You write well and you always have something interesting to say. Please keep ’em coming.

    • Dave Knadler says

      June 9, 2011 at 8:37 pm

      When I stop posting, it’s usually because of my annoyance at the lack of comments. Childish, I know.

  2. Joan says

    June 9, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    OK. If you post, I’ll comment. Deal?

    • Dave Knadler says

      June 10, 2011 at 11:34 am

      Did I mention the comments must all be glowing?

  3. John H. says

    June 10, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    I read every post, but I can’t promise to comment every time. Not because I’m supressing less-than-glowing comments; I’m just inhibited after reading this post from May:
    http://www.davesfiction.com/2011/05/too-much-sharing-not-enough-content.html

    You’ve brought it on yourself, Dave. 🙂

    I do promise not to use any misattributed quotes. I hate when people do that!

    To try to add a little original content to this: I attended a convention for work a couple of months ago, where the keynote speaker was an ex-Yahoo-sales guy. I think he must hold the record for the highest number of misattributed quotations in one speech. I’m pretty sure he also made some of them up. When he started a sentence with, “As Napoleon said…”, I stopped listening.

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