Dave's Fiction Warehouse

In which I bloviate about books, TV, movies, politics and other stuff -- all without the aid of ChatGPT!

  • Books
  • Movies
  • TV
  • politics
  • american life
  • Writing
  • Other Stuff

Connect

  • Email
  • Facebook

Powered by Genesis

Attempted homicide for the holidays

November 27, 2010 by Dave Knadler

mohamed o. muhamud

A kid so nice they named him twice.

Kids today. One minute they’re TP-ing your house on Halloween, and the next minute they’re trying to blow up your Christmas tree-lighting ceremony and you with it. Hey, Mohamed Osman Mohamud: You’re grounded, young man. And don’t give me that look.

Used to be, an alienated kid would scrawl “F*ck you” in the bathroom stall and maybe shoplift some Twinkies. Now only mass murder will do. I know the great religion of Islam has nothing to do with this, but this steady stream of guys with some variation of “Mohamed” in their names, plotting evil deeds and shouting “Allahu akbar!” in the mirror — it’s beginning to get on my nerves. What is this fascination with blowing up strangers? Around here, we prefer sit-ins, or boycotting offensive TV shows, or buying only organically-grown produce. In the Portland area especially, killing a bunch of people standing around a Christmas tree just isn’t done.

There are a lot of reasons to hate Al-Qaeda and its seemingly endless supply of mouth-breathing sycophants named Mohamed or Faisal or Nidal or Umar. But I guess the biggest one is how high they’ve raised the bar for outrageous behavior. Forget protest or engagement or writing strongly worded letters; there’s only one tactic now, and it’s anonymous large-scale homicide. What a world.

These bastards are the bubonic plague of our age. But at least they’re still pretty stupid.

More along these lines:

  • wordpress logoWordPress and Thesis
  • For Trump, it’s just another show
  • A breakthrough for the beautiful
  • Autumn and algebraAutumn and algebra
  • An occurrence at the no-host barAn occurrence at the no-host bar

Filed Under: Other Stuff, terrorism

Comments

  1. John H. says

    November 29, 2010 at 11:40 am

    Fortunately, God was too busy to help this kid – he was working on his plan to make the Buffalo Bills lose:
    http://espn.go.com/blog/afceast/post/_/id/22378/whirl-interrupted-steve-johnson-drops-ball

  2. Ryan says

    December 3, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    As a man originally from Pittsburgh, and a Steeler fan, that gave me a nice hearty laugh.

Recent posts

  • Have ‘Vette, will travel
  • Where eagles pair
  • Full frontal Florida
  • Later, alligator
  • A writer on top
    of the short-story game

Recent comments

  • John H. on Have ‘Vette, will travel
  • John H. on Where eagles pair
  • Dave Knadler on Where eagles pair
  • Molly on Where eagles pair
  • John H. on Full frontal Florida

FInd something

send dave cash

The obligatory PayPal donation button. Go ahead: Make my day.