So long, Larry. Don’t forget your meds

Larry King, family man

There’s bad news, as they say, and there’s good. The bad news is that we’re screwed in the Gulf, screwed in Afghanistan and screwed in all things economic. The good news: Larry King is finally calling it quits. Perhaps we’ve turned the corner.

Yes, after 50 years that seems like 50,000 years, the skeletal old dude with the ludicrous suspenders has decided to spend more time with his wife and children. He’s 76. His eighth wife, 48, has just entered treatment for addiction to painkillers, not so long after Larry was accused of bedding her sister. His kids, 9 and 11, are wondering if this will mean less time with the Xbox. Should be some kind of relaxing retirement there, Larry.

King claims to have interviewed 50,000 people in his endless career, but in recent years most of them were Michael Jackson’s dad. His trademark interview style consisted of Nerf ball questions culminating in the clincher: some variation of asking each guest what they thought of “Dancing With the Stars.”

King is at pains to point out that he’s not leaving television, just his tedious show: “I’ll be doing specials. You’ll see me in other places.” Yes, OK. I would suggest a Christmas special with Andy Williams, but there’s the Jewish thing. In any case, I hope he doesn’t over-commit. The important thing is family.