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An apocalyptic dream goes sour

March 30, 2010 by Dave Knadler

hutaree vs. hell

A mighty fortress is our Chevy.

I was frequently inattentive in Sunday school, so it’s possible I missed the part about Jesus endorsing  the murder of police. But at first glance, the plan by these dozen or so dopey loons in Michigan to battle the Antichrist seems at best quixotic, and at worst seriously in conflict with the core tenets espoused by the Prince of Peace. But that’s always the way. When boys acquire assault rifles, the fiery passages of the Old Testament always seem to override the emphasis on love and forgiveness in the  New.

In any case, the religious war is off for now. The  Hutaree leader tipped his hand prematurely, and now the Antichrist is unlikely to venture anywhere near Wheatland Township, Mich. Why would he risk confrontation with a cadre of superbly trained commandos, especially when they are apparently impregnable behind their beat-up Chevy? A frontal attack would be suicide.

The thing about planning a religious war: It’s probably best to wait for the war to come to you. If you try to start it yourself, you risk making serious mistakes — for example, killing somebody who has no idea why in the hell you’d want to do that. Or, in the case of Hutaree commandant David Brian Stone, being exposed as a fool of Biblical proportions.

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Filed Under: nazis

About Dave Knadler

Obscure writer. Lazy photographer. Bashful guitarist. Perhaps too fond of wine. Tireless nemesis of New York Times crosswords.

Comments

  1. Joel Sieler says

    March 31, 2010 at 1:24 am

    They should have taken cover behind a Ford. I understand they’re impervious to the Anti-Christ.

  2. Dave Knadler says

    March 31, 2010 at 7:34 am

    Yes. Long as it’s not a Pinto …

  3. mike knadler says

    March 31, 2010 at 8:08 am

    Once again you’ve hit a home run, my bro, with style and especially with wit…well written.

  4. Stephen Hathaway says

    April 1, 2010 at 1:31 am

    When I was growing up in the 1950’s near Detroit, my father had some pretty whacky friends who’d sit around the bar trying to outhate each other in spewing racial slurs, anti-Commie and anti-Catholic rubbish, and generally being libels on the human race. I used to think they were just drunk deer hunters in camouflage costumes, but now they loom in memory as sinister apparitions of destructive intent.

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