The seven stages of blogging:

This is a rough description of my thinking over the last couple of weeks. Having reached stage seven already, it may be time to regroup. Not sure what I was thinking, devoting a blog to crime fiction when there are so many excellent ones already out there. Perhaps I’ll change the focus to late-50s quiz shows…

1. I’ll just see how it works. You figure everybody else is blogging, so why not give it a try? There’s always a chance it could be more fun than watching “Deal or No Deal.”

2. Look, I’m writing! You read and reread your published posts and experience a thrill akin to seeing your name on a best-selling novel. This is easier than you thought. And just think: every day your erudite ruminations are out there for all the world to see.

3. Here’s the link. You realize that your thoughts are not only as valid as anyone else’s, they’re probably quite a bit more so, given your expertise and innate understanding of the topic. So you start spreading the word. It’s a public service. The more lives you can touch, the better.

4. You like me! You know you’re good, but the only way to quantify how good is to keep track of how many times people view your blog. At any given moment, you can tell how many hits since the preceding given moment. You constantly tinker with the layout, and check for comments every seven minutes.

5. No wait, I’ve already done that. Now aware that people occasionally look at your blog, you also become aware that you have only so many thoughts on the subject, and those thoughts confine themselves to the shallow end of the pool. At a loss for topics, you begin to stare blankly at the screen. Just like at work.

6. So has everybody else. By obsessively pushing the “next blog” button and following the dozens of links that accumulate each day, you realize that the blogosphere is a lot like the realityosphere — most of it pretty darned mundane. And that would include your blog, which is beginning to sound like an echo chamber for a hundred other better blogs on the same subject.

7. To hell with it. It’s time to spend more time on the things that really matter. Doesn’t a new season of “American Idol” start pretty soon?