Dave's Fiction Warehouse

In which I bloviate about books, TV, movies, politics and other stuff.

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Bring on da crap

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So ye call this a movie, do ye?

So ye call this a movie, do ye?

The world really is going to hell, isn’t it? We’ve got ISIS cutting off everybody’s heads. We’ve got the ebola virus on a sightseeing tour of America. And now we’ve got Adam Sandler contractually obligated to do at least four more movies.

It’s the last one that really makes me fear for America. Ever seen “Blended”? “Jack and Jill”? “Grownups 2”? Me neither. But I have noted the scores on Rotten Tomatoes: 13 percent, 3 percent and 7 percent respectively. I have seen 20 minutes of “Spanglish,” which is a bit higher ( at 53 percent, it’s like the “Citizen Kane” of Adam Sandler movies). But like most of the man’s films, it’s still so horrifically disgusting that most people would probably prefer a beheading video. So where’s ISIS’ four-picture deal?

Netflix announced the Sandler thing like it was a great coup: four pictures very similar to “That’s My Boy,” all of which you’ll be able to view without the embarrassment of standing in line for a ticket. Perfect for those late nights when you get tired of watching infomercials on broadcast TV. Or of having splinters shoved up your fingernails.

It seems crazy and disheartening. But I guess you have to hand it to Netflix. Apparently there’s a great pent-up demand for viewing total crap in total anonymity. And in Adam Sandler, it has tapped a limitless supply.

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Comments

  1. Thanks for the (pre)view. I’ll dodge all of them. But I dodge most good movies too. Meeting BC for lunch tomorrow. They leave following day.

    M

  2. A four-picture deal for ISIS – nice. Reminds me of Faye Dunaway’s TV exec colluding with the media-hungry radicals in “Network”.

    It’s probably the quickest way to defeat them, as well. It would be only a matter of time before they collapsed from internal strife over “creative differences”.