“According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 68 percent of adults in the United States were either overweight or obese in 2008.”
So as a nation, we’re fatter than the Bronx!? WTF? You wonder why Al Qaeda even bothers to mess around with underwear bombs; at this rate we’ll be permanently confined to our La-Z-Boys by 2017 and they can just walk around killing us with hammers.
So while I disagree in principle with plans to ban super-size sodas in New York, I can sympathize with the frustration behind it. Think about it: despite decades of research on the mysterious link between Coke cups the size of wastebaskets and asses the size of planets, people don’t care. They keep upgrading their power scooters and dreaming one day of cashing in on a fat class-action suit against McDonald’s. They keep squeezing in next to me in coach, overflowing both armrests. Now that personal accountability is obsolete, perhaps draconian steps are in order.
If you’re going to ban gigantic sodas though, why stop there? Why not ban Baconators, too? And those family-size containers of fried chicken at Winn-Dixie? I’d get on board with that. I’d also support legislation requiring fat people to join a gym and show proof of attendance, with the proviso that it wouldn’t entail me having to wait for a machine.
Yeah, I’m back at the gym myself. I ride my bike down there most days. I hate it most days, too, until I hit the shower. It’s hot and it’s boring and I hate that fact that an hour of working out can be nullified by five minutes at a drive-through. It makes me misty-eyed that my Burger King days are behind me.
There’s just something about passing 60 — you accept that you’ll never be skinny, but it becomes important that you remain able to tie your own shoes. At 30 you can shed five pounds in a week; at 60 it takes a freaking year. Dignity is elusive when you waddle instead of walk. At some point, you’d think, obese people would quit with the enormous soft drinks even if the law didn’t require it. But if that’s what it takes …