Like I didn’t have enough to worry about. Here’s an overlong rumination in the New York Times about how everything I write on the Internet lives forever, possibly endangering that job interview with Larry King and portending some awkward moments the next time I dine at Sarah Palin’s house. I guess that’s what happens when you become narcissistic and start hanging out all your dirty laundry for everyone to see. In retrospect, it may not have the greatest idea to post the video of me setting that hobo on fire. I was just a kid then, only 47, but people are going to see it and think that’s who I am today.
There are a lot of other things I’d like to get back: My Amazon review of Anarchy for Dummies (four stars); the tawdry MySpace photos of me peeing on the office Christmas tree; my Facebook update about assaulting the D.C. police officer with that enormous glass bong. At the time, those things seemed like innocent fun, just staying in touch with friends. Who knew Mr. Businessman in his fancy suit was going to make a big deal out of it when I needed some work?
It wouldn’t be so bad if my positive achievements carried as much weight as the so-called negative ones. But as the Times piece points out, the web has a way of accentuating the negative. For example, I’ve saved a lot of lives and returned a lot of cash-filled wallets over the years. I’ve saved lot of marriages, too, and rotated the tires on a number of friends’ cars. You’d think all of that might counteract the time I got drunk and vandalized those synagogues. But no: On today’s Internet, it’s all about casting the first stone.