One of my many rewarding hobbies is imagining what I’d do if I found a large amount of money in a suitcase. It’s also one of the most-used MacGuffins in crime fiction, but that’s because it’s so effective at driving characters. Think of “A Simple Plan,” or, more recently “No Country For Old Men.” While those two tales don’t end particularly well, I’m sure I could handle a Samsonite full of Benjamins just fine. And no, none of my scenarios involve turning it over to the authorities.
First of all, this is cash in a suitcase, right? And it’s just lying there. That suggests an illegitimate origin, and since it’s illegitimate anyway, it might as well be mine. Such is the rigorous moral code here at Dave’s Fiction Warehouse. Naturally, I’ll take care not to leave my driver’s license at the scene. And I will never, ever go back for any reason. If you’re familiar with the two movies mentioned above, you’ll appreciate why that is rule number one for those who discover a whole lot of crooked dough.
Rule number two: Tell no one. Rule number three: Don’t spend any of it for at least a year. I’m still formulating the other rules, but basically I’ve got this all figured out. All I need now is to find the money.
Ever wonder what you’d do if you if you stumbled onto a great load of cash? Here’s one guy who recently did. Poor sap. OK, if I had reason to believe the money was lost by a legitimate owner, I’d probably give it back. But I have a feeling I’d always be kicking myself for it.